If I had 54 chickens …

We would all sleep in a chicken shaped bed ….we would wake up when the sun rises and brush our teeth and beaks with bubble gum bakugan toothpaste….then we would floss and throw the used floss in the air and pretend we were in a chicken parade…We would do our twenty minute workout in our pastel thong leotards…then we would eat pancakes and pineapple slices and bathe in maple syrup….then drink coffee with corn kernel shaped marshmallows….We would take our morning french and chopsticks lessons then go on a walk together in the rain and all 54 chickens would balance on an extra large umbrella with a second umbrella on top to protect them from the wet drops…then we would go to the playground and take turns on the swings…then we would line up all the trash cans in a row and take turns jumping in them and then wait for unsuspecting squirrels to perch on the edge…and then we’d jump out and scare them….we would then go fly kites with ten chickens tied to each one with four extra on the last one…then we would go get lunch at our fave thai restaurant where we order 110 cold spring rolls and then take them to the highest snowiest mountain and then take a few bites and pecks of each one and sit on them and ride down the mountain with cucumber, tofu, shredded carrot, coriander and bean sprouts trailing behind us and flying everywhere…. then we would take turns spray painting each other with sparkly edible neon spray paint and while we were wet we would slam our bodies into cars and building and windows and buses and make body slam imprints everywhere…and then we would go back and find each one and paint mustaches on them and add little thought bubbles that said stuff like “Wazzup???”, “Are you talking to ME?” and “I Pity the Fool!” and then we shall walk hand in hand wing to wing down to the beach and and have some ice cream which we imagine is flavored clouds on a cone and then make sand angels and castles and condos and then go whale watching while we wear inflatable water wings  and then we will all jump on the whale and and stick all our water wings on his back with spit and then we’ll float up into the sky and go soaring through the air high-fiving birds and flying dogs that we pass and then we’ll jump back into the ocean….where we hang on to jellyfish tails and get a ride back to shore where we dry off on the dock doing jumping jacks and lunges…then we’ll hunt down our favorite hot dog stand and ask the hot dog vendor to make us a blended hot dog, pickles corn relish powershake which we’ll pour all over ourselves and then take turns licking off….then it’s time for our afternoon nap so we shall head back home and lie down on our bed and have dreams of cows slapping cows, dogs on acid reality tv shows, and waterfalls full of sticky sunburned radioactive jellybeans and corn flavored licorice…. xo

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