If You Wanna Bite Someone’s Face…

1♥ Do a little booty shake while pummeling them with high energy back kicks, get ’em on the floor tie their shoelaces together….bite their face…

2♥ During a Park funday climb a tree hang upside down on a branch and declare you’ re never ever coming down until you can bite their face…then you yell the words keyboard cat over and over until you puke all over them and then you bite their face….

3♥ Say ” Hey honey, c’mere”they say “k”, you say “come closer”,  they say “k”,  then you cover them in kisses and then knock ’em down with a pillow and then play out that scene in Gremlins where Gizmo is in the pink car and he crashes into all the shelves and stuff…make sure to include all the car zooming noises and crash sounds while running around and then zoom crash into them and bite their face….

4♥ While they are sleeping draw doodles all over their body with smelly fruit markers, definitely cover all the water mammals and all the characters from Cheers, if you’re feeling ambitious you should also take all your lipstick and lipgloss and use that for highlighting and shading your doodles….then wrap them up in an endless roll of candy dots ….then when they wake up and say “WTF?” …you bite their face…

5♥ Buy them the biggest ginormous elephant sized ice cream cone…then jump into it…dragging them in with you…live in the ice cream cone in an ice cream hut with an ice cream dog for twenty years…then bite their face…

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