When I’m Feeling Weird I think Of….

weird thoughts …. like…

how the subway train floor is really quite artistically pleasant to the eye…

why can’t we live in bubbles so that we don’t have to wear pants…?

I want to ride on a double decker bus that can fly and has a hot tub and open bar…

why aren’t we psychic….?

why do I think it’s super hot when seemingly sane people are actually super insane…?

how come there doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day to masturbate…?

why do people always assume that gang bangs are violent…?

why do cinnamon roll granola bars lie and say they taste like cinnamon rolls when they clearly don’t…?

why and when did mouth to mouth resuscitation officially become non life saving…?

why haven’t I met anyone as equally weird as me that wants to make paper planes and live in a world full of hammocks with talking chickens and eat bacon cheeseburgers and get ketchup all over our faces and make lots of babies and build large sized dog robots made out of nitrous balloons….?

sponges should be edible. they look edible.

why do I feel so alone when I’m not…?

why don’t I see the same thing that people see when they see me…?

i love the color of tennis balls.

where are all the dragons…?  I want a dragon…then I wouldn’t need a bbq…

why can’t I taste lightning…?

bath tub parties are always the best parties…

why can’t we crash into things without injuring ourselves…?

how come I can’t smoke and drink and crash into stuff  as much as I want without it killing me…?

bunnies are cute. want one. would wear in my hair. eat lettuce and glitter all day.

sometimes i think my eyes are having sex with what they see…