If I was an itty bitty pancake….

….I’d love myself all the time….forever….

….I would run through prairies catching poppy petals in my mouth…

….I would serenade the sun and moon and try to woo them into having a threesome with me…

….I would look for friends to knit blankets with and then we would make a really large blanket that would cover all of us while we tickle each other till we die and then we would pretend I’m sleeping beauty and everyone would have to kiss me longingly until I come back alive…

….I would go to an orchard and dry hump all the apples…

….I would learn how to fart itty bitty heart shaped pancake farts that smell like fresh blueberry pie and then lie there and smell them all day…

…I would find another itty bitty pancake and kiss it until I sucked out all it’s being and it lay limply beside me…

…I would have maple syrup hot tub parties and invite all my fave super heroes and make them strip and watch them eat bacon till they puke…

…I would build a large castle made out cranberries and strawberry flavored glue and then get some chickens and build fires every night and wear cute little pancake rubber boots and eat paint and dance jigs and bob for beef jerky and try to grow a pancake tail…

…I would give birth to a pancake horse with long flowing hair and then ride over cliffs and jump really high and search for bears to hug…

…I would pretend to be a movie director and cast characters that look like pancakes and make them eat popcorn with chopsticks and see if they can blow saliva bubbles so big that would envelop all of us and float away and carry us all to a mountain made of dreams…

…I would teach pancake satisfaction workshops that would teach pancakes how to orgasm without touching themselves…

…I would randomly float up to others and lick their faces so lightly that they wouldn’t feel a thing…

…Lastly I would build a life size unicorn made of pancakes and we’d ride on top of ocean waves and feed pancake crumbs to the jellyfish and search for mermaids that could massage our little pancake feet and paint lightning bolts on our eyelids and teeth…

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