Things I’d rather do Today…

~ Invent edible measuring tape so that when someone asks you to measure something you could say whoops a bear attacked me and ate my tape measurer…

~ Figure out how to make unicorn shaped hickeys…

~ Stick fuzzy stickers all over my body and then roll around in something wet and watch them dry in front of a mirror…

~ Throw food at people…

~ Give myself a home made tattoo of a pony and a duck having sex while eating apple sauce…

~ Balance coffee beans on my eyelids…

~ Lick a bowl of jelly beans…

~ Build a house out of pumpkin pie…

~ Make out till I die…

xo